Matlock Town FC

[rico]

An old retired sailor puts on his old uniform and goes down to the docks once more for old times sake.
He hires a prostitute and takes her up to a room.
He's going at it the best he can for a guy his age.
The old sailor asks "How am I doing?"
The prostitute replies "Well sailor, you're doing about 3 knots"
"3 knots?" he replies, "What's that supposed to mean?"
She says "Your not hard, you're not in, and you're not getting your f**k money back!"